Am I A Mama's Boy?

I’m a guy in my mid-thirties, the only son in a family with three daughters. My father died when I was very young and mother toiled and sold all she had to put my siblings and I through school and ensured we never lacked the basic things we needed.Even as a child I could see and feel her pain. Raising four children on her own without help from anybody was not easy, but she did it. Today my siblings and I are all graduates and doing well in our chosen careers.

In the past I had taken two ladies to my mother as potential wives but she didn't approve. One she said was because of her tribe that their women dominate their men and end up sending them to an early grave. The other she said looked wild. This became quite frustrating so I decided not to take any girl I was dating to my mum again. Then I met Pat- calm, caring, beautiful, a praying woman. We met at a friend’s wedding and hit it off almost immediately. I fell helplessly in love. I have never loved a woman the way I loved her and I probably never will. Pat was good at everything, I mean everything.

Within six months I had made up my mind to marry her but I was dreading taking her to my mother for fear that once again she would not approve. I was right. Mother said her spirit did not accept Pat. I was upset and pleaded with my mum to atleast try and get to know her. But instead she said she would curse me with her breasts if I go against her wish. She got my sisters on her side and they all claimed Pat had charmed me. I told them if she really did then it was a good charm because I was having the time of my life with the woman I loved.
I took Pat to few family gatherings and parties with the hope that if they got to know her better they would love her almost as much as I did. But it seemed to have a reverse effect. The more they saw her, the more they despised her. I couldn't understand why. Pat had become very uncomfortable around my family as a result of their bad attitude towards her.

Her family on the other hand were wonderful to me. I played chess with her dad every other weekend and her mother treated me nothing short of a son. And her siblings treated me with just as much love. I felt really bad that my family could not accord Pat the same level of respect and love her family showed me but there was nothing I could do. The relationship between my mum and I had become so strained during the time Pat was in my life.
We made plans to get married but she insisted that she could not marry into a family that were so resentful of her. She would often say “once I marry you, I'm automatically married to your family”. I told her to give me time to work on my family but things only got worse.

My mother got into the habit of calling her ‘slow poison’ to her face. My sisters completely refused to acknowledge even her greeting. This went on for two years then one day Pat broke things off with me. She said she foresaw a future filled with unhappiness with me as she could not deal with the animosity from my family. She actually sent me a message saying she feared for her life if she ever became my wife. That was how I lost the love of my life.

All these happened three years ago. I ran into Pat early this year, she is now married with a child. We didn't keep in touch after she broke things off with me because the break-up was too painful. I got her number and we got chatting on whatsapp. She then said something that has been haunting me- During our chat I told her that if she had just been a little more patient, we would have been husband and wife and the baby she was carrying would have been mine. She then told me that I wasn't assertive enough with my family and that scared her the most. I asked her to explain further but she declined saying that it was all for the best as she was now married to a deserving man. That stung real bad.

Now my family have been trying to hook me up with all sorts since Pat left me. Recently my mother tried to hook me up with her friend’s 22 year old daughter. I'm a 35 year old man. I told the young woman not to get her hopes up because if we ever got together, it would be a hit and run. I know my words were a bit brutal but at least I was being honest.

I still miss Pat, I still think about what could have been. I don’t resent my family though. After all is said and done, they are all I have and I guess in their own way, they were looking out for me.
But if I could do it all over again, I wouldn't allow them mess things up between Pat and I but the truth is I still don't know how I could successfully do that and I still don’t get what she meant by ‘I could have been more assertive with my family’. Please tell me, what could I have done differently?

Now here comes omalicha's take on this which incidentally seems like it's from my mouth/head to her keyboard. Lol. Read on

**Dear Poster, I hate to tell you this but you are a classic Mama’s Boy. Only son, with mummy and sisters, daddy has passed on. That package alone is enough to rattle any babe. Let’s be honest, any woman who decides to date you or even spend the rest of her life with you will have a lot to contend with. I agree with Pat, I think you were not assertive enough with your family. As a grown man, you should have put your foot down and made it clear that she is the woman you intend to marry and they can either deal with it or loose you. (not in those particular words….but you get what I mean sha….).
Let me explain the process of leaving and cleaving to you- The bible says that a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined with his wife and the two shall become one. So when you meet 'the one' and decide to marry her, you 'leave' your family and 'cleave' on to her. That does not mean you should abandon your family, but your wife and kids should become your number one priority and your family don't necessarily have to be okay with it, but they must should respect your decision.

I think Pat did not feel protected enough by you and that must have scared her as it would any other woman. Love alone is not enough to make a relationship work. Your woman should know that you have her back, your woman’s place should be clearly defined in your life and your home and family and friends should be made aware of the consequences of disrespecting your woman should they ever attempt to. I can understand how much you love your mother and the need you feel to please her and always make her happy, but remember you have your own life to live. I think you should have some serious long talk with your mother and then your sisters. I hope you do not let your family ruin your next relationship. All the best!

Thanks Omalicha for letting me reblog this

What do y'all think??

Culled

It's a girl!!!!: Scandal Star, Kerry Washington Births her bundle of joy

The Scandal star, 37, and her former pro football player husband, Nnamdi Asomugha, quietly welcomed daughter Isabelle Amarachi on April 21... talk about low key!!!

Awww, congratulations to them

Excellent reasons You Should Start Eating Pineapples

Beyond the minerals and vitamins that most fruits provide, pineapple offers a rich source of some of the lesser known micronutrients that your body needs. Nevertheless, Fresh pineapple is very healthy and low in calories fruit that can still your hunger. If you do not need to watch your intake of fructose, pineapple is a healthy food for supplementing your diet.

A cup of pineapple chunks is a refreshing and healthy snack, with 80 calories, no fat and one gram of protein. One cup of pineapple contains 15 grams of sugar, a rather high amount that can cause a blood sugar spike in diabetics.

People have used pineapple to treat inflammation and indigestion.

Not only does pineapple add juicy sweetness to your dishes but it also contains bromelain- a digestive enzyme that helps break down food to reduce bloating. The bromelain is found only in fresh pineapples as the heat processing destroys it. 100 g of pineapple supplies about 51 kcal. That is why it is good to eat the pineapples after you have a hearty meal.

Bromelain is used today as a supplement form to reduce inflammation after surgery and to treat nasal swelling during sinus infections; bromelain may also ease pain from osteoarthritis.

Pineapple is a good diuretic

Most people believe that the pineapple is able to burn fats in the body. However recent scientific findings show that while the pineapple does prevent deposition of a new fat, it has a little effect on decreasing already existing body fat.

Latest studies reveal that pineapple contains anti carcinogenic agents.

Pineapple may play a role in keeping your cells healthy. A cup of fresh pineapple chunks contains 70 milligrams of vitamin C and 95 milligrams of vitamin A, supplying you with all the vitamin C you need each day and about 1/5 of your recommended daily intake of vitamin A. These compounds protect healthy cells from the threat of destructive atoms called free radicals and heal damaged cells. An abundance of damaged cells might result in premature aging and the development of various diseases.

One cup of raw pineapple gives you 1.55 milligrams of manganese, a mineral that helps develop strong bones and connective tissues.

Doctors recommend men get 2.2 milligrams of manganese a day and that women get 1.9 milligrams. Older adults, who are at a higher risk for brittle bones, could benefit from adding pineapple to their meals to ensure they get enough of the nutrient.

This tropical fruit can prevent blood clots and marble bone diseases.

Copper helps your body produce hemoglobin and promotes wound healing. A copper deficiency can cause osteoporosis, anemia, thyroid problems and a low white blood cell count. Doctors recommend adults get 699 milligrams of copper a day. Foods highest in copper include crustaceans, beef, mushrooms and mollusks as well as some fruits providing it. A cup of pineapple chunks gives you about 151 milligrams of this mineral, more than 1/5 of the amount you need every day.

People are always very concerned with their teeth that they sometimes forget to give importance to their gums, which are equally essential as they hold the teeth in place. If you have unhealthy gums, your teeth will be in bad condition and eventually fall out. Pineapple eating will strengthen the gums and that way will help keep your teeth healthy and strong.

Ocular degeneration.

This disease is the leading cause for vision loss in adults. It is caused by retina damage. Daily activities such as reading, recognizing faces and some other things become a lot more difficult because of this problem. Including pineapple in your diet will lower risk of this disease by as much as 35 percent. This is because this tropical fruit contains ß carotene that is good for your sense of sight.

13 Things All Men Should Know About Pregnant Women

This article cracked me up real good!. Read on....

When it comes to dealing with pregnant women, I'm no expert. Hell, I still don't even know how to figure out women in general. In fact, I'm the antithesis of an expert. Luckily for you, I've made just about every single stupid mistake and placed my foot so far in my mouth during my wife's pregnancies that I'm overqualified to speak to you about things you need to know to avoid getting knocked out by the knocked up.

Here are the 13 most important things to remember.

1. Feed her constantly.

Everyone knows food is important to pregnant women. But what the uninitiated might not realize is that time is of the essence. The bottom line is, when she says she's hungry, she means it. Feed that woman immediately or she will eat your f*cking face. Know that "I'm hungry" doesn't mean she's looking forward to the dinner plans you have in an hour. It means give her a snack before you leave for the restaurant. And then again when you get in the car. Failure to promptly produce snacks will result in extreme b*tchiness at best, and bodily injury at worst. Just turn yourself into a walking, talking vending machine for nine months and you'll be fine.

2. Food:

What's yours is hers, what's hers is off-limits. There's a good chance you've been married or together a few years now, so it's perfectly understandable that you bought into all that stuff about togetherness and sharing a life, etc. And while some of that still applies, all bets are off when it comes to food. If you eat food that's hers (or food you bought for yourself but she somehow claimed as hers), she will cut you. Not physically, perhaps, but by the time she's finished excoriating you you'll wish it was just a knife wound you suffered. I ate some of MJ's chocolate once, and when she went to find it during a craving and saw that it was gone, she flew into a rage that was one of the scariest things I've ever seen. Just don't do it.

3. Get ready to gain weight.

Notice how all the topics so far have involved food? That's no mistake. Ultimately, at some point, she'll have cravings. When MJ was pregnant with Will, she wanted pizza, Kit Kats and grapefruit. The second time around, it was nothing but fruit salad. But whatever the craving, one of the unmentioned side effects of pregnancy is YOUR weight gain. Yes, the guys gain weight, too. Mainly because we inevitably partake in our partners' cravings and all the extra junk food results in a spare tire. I gained 25 pounds during MJ's pregnancy five years ago, just a shade under the total amount she gained -- WITH THE BABY! So watch your step.

4. Don't point out how big she's getting.

My Boston sports habit notwithstanding, I'm a fairly logical person. I knew MJ was pregnant and pregnant women gain weight. That's why I thought absolutely nothing of pointing out my wife's really cute swollen belly. In my mind, it was just nature progressing and running its course, and there was nothing more beautiful. But after the first two or three times I said it, she snapped on me. "STOP TELLING ME I'M FAT! I KNOW I'M FAT! I DON'T NEED YOU POINTING IT OUT!!" It didn't matter that in my eyes she had never looked more beautiful, or that she was SUPPOSED to be gaining weight. Which leads me to my next point...

5. "Pregnancy Brain" is very real.

I know it sounds like some sort of cutesy, media-created term. But it's not. Pregnancy Brain is legit. It starts with everyday occurrences like looking for her glasses while they're on her head, which is kind of adorable. But it soon progresses to things like leaving the basement door open in 5-degree weather and freezing the entire bottom floor of the house while simultaneously leaving us susceptible to a home invasion. And in a fit of irony, I just asked MJ to give me more examples of Pregnancy Brain, but she couldn't -- because she can't remember.

6. Goodbye, sense of humor.

The good news is: she's gained a baby. The bad news? There wasn't enough room for the baby AND her sense of humor. If you're a smart-a** like I am, this is especially troubling, since I show affection by giving people good-natured sh*t. Unfortunately, my pregnant wife does not appreciate my unique brand of humor while carrying our little parasite around in her stomach. The results are often me firing off (what I consider to be) beautiful comedic quips and zingers, which don't just fall on deaf ears -- they fall on potentially homicidal ears. You've been warned.

7. Say goodbye to sex, too.

Listen to me carefully -- you're about to be sexually frustrated. The first trimester is by far the worst. It's when she'll be going through the most changes and feeling the sh*ttiest. It's everything she can do to avoid throwing up every morning (and sometimes at night), so your feeling unloved and "backed up" doesn't really register. So fire up the porn and give yourself a hand, because you're now a sex camel, my friend. The only silver lining is you'll have sex two times during the pregnancy. You have a one- to two-week window when her sex drive returns early in the second trimester. Enjoy that, because it's not happening again until very late in the pregnancy. Right at the end she'll be so desperate to get the baby out of her that she'll use you in the hopes that sex will send her into labor. It's slightly awkward, but after the drought it's a welcome relief -- as long as her water doesn't break right then and there.

8. Yes, her boobs are bigger; no, you can't touch them.

While we're on the topic of sex, let me tell you about one of nature's cruelest tricks. When a woman is carrying a child, it's a beautiful thing. That "pregnant glow" you always hear about is real, and it does wonders for her hair, her fingernails and -- her rack. A becomes C, B becomes D and C becomes Hallelujah Thank You Jesus! They swell up to gargantuan sizes, literally breaking bras at the seams and popping off her chest in a fit of Playboy glory. The only problem is, you're not allowed to touch them. It's like going to the pet store and seeing the cute puppies behind the glass but not being able to pet them. They're adorable and you want to take them home and keep them forever, but if you try to motorboat her puppies she will slap the sh*t out of you. Trust me.

9. Your dick can't hurt the baby.

Let's get this one out of the way right now -- your penis will have no effect on the baby in your wife's womb. Got that? I don't care if you're on par with Ron Jeremy, your dick is not going to scare the kid and it's certainly not going to poke him in the forehead. Not only that, but any suggestion to the contrary will send your pregnant wife into hysterics. And there's nothing more demoralizing than a conversation that involves your penis and hysterical laughter. So I'm told...

10. You will be replaced by pillows.

Did you spend a crap ton of money on a mattress? Some sort of memory foam or pillowtop deal that makes you feel like 1,000 little angels are massaging you as you fall asleep every night? Well, I hope you also spent money on a comfortable couch, because that's likely where you'll be sleeping for a decent part of the pregnancy. And it's not so much because of the increased space your pregnant wife takes up, either. It's the pillows. Yup, that's right. You become increasingly irrelevant as the pregnancy wears on, but the 37 pillows -- including that godforsaken full-body pillow -- become absolutely vital nighttime companions. And when push comes to shove, you're getting the shove to the sofa.

11. Don't treat her like glass.

Many men -- myself included -- feel very protective of their wives in general. But when it's our baby growing inside of her, that protective instinct suddenly ratchets up several notches. I try not to let MJ open doors, carry groceries, pick up heavy objects, etc. And for whatever reason, that sticks in her craw something fierce. It's not that I don't think she can fend for herself; I just feel it's more important than ever to keep her safe, and to make sure the heavy lifting is kept to a minimum. And that's when I get the "I'M NOT MADE OF GLASS, STOP TREATING ME LIKE A PRINCESS!" retort. Oh well, husbands/boyfriends of pregnant women are damned if we do and damned if we don't.

12. Pregnant women are lazy.

This one is VERY touchy. After all, they're carrying new life around inside of them. Their bodies are growing, stretching and changing to accommodate said life. But the fact remains, pregnant women are L-A-Z-Y. Case in point, a disturbing trend has emerged in the Daddy Files household during my wife's second pregnancy. MJ has not only stopped doing dishes, she's no longer even attempting to put the dirty dishes in the sink. Instead, she brings them into the kitchen and puts them a foot away from the sink. Moreover, all of the coffee cups are half-full and every bowl has a ton of soggy cereal remaining in it. I don't mind doing the dishes, but I do mind a counter full of crap. How hard is it to empty the dishes and move them ONE MORE FOOT into the sink?? But you can't gripe about this because...

13. You can't complain.

All these things I've listed? You can't mention any of them to your pregnant wife. Because even if she's lazy, not giving you any, won't let you touch her boobs, can't remember a thing, sleeping with the Pillow People, making you crash on the couch, putting on massive amounts of weight, and eating you out of house and home, it doesn't matter. She's pregnant. She's carrying your child. Which means she's got the trump card and all your complaints are hereby dismissed. Seriously, just think about you complaining and what her response will be. Something like "Dishes? You're complaining about dishes?? I'm growing a human being in my stomach the size of a watermelon that I'll eventually have to push out an opening the size of a lemon. NOW WHAT WERE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT AGAIN?!?"

Culled